You know that whole “when life gives you lemons” bullshit? Yeah, I’m not making lemonade. I’ve been absent here for a while, and I’ve got about 75 reasons why. Let’s preface this with this isn’t meant as a woe is me post to get sympathy, but rather an honest, life is hard kind of post. I dig honest posts and not the “my life is perfect” shit everyone presents on the internet in an attempt to one up each other or compete in some disgusting way. Moms are the worst about this.
The last seven and a half weeks have sort of sucked. Not because our little baby arrived, but because life has just sort of given us the short straw time and time again.
I don’t plan to share my birth story just because I think it’s very personal, most of you probably don’t care and it’s a long one. Basically, I went into labor on Wednesday with contractions 2 minutes apart and lasting 2 minutes (so really in labor) and I was almost admitted for delivery.
Pretend labor fun
Then they slowed down to about 8 minutes apart and one minute long for oh just umm FOUR DAYS until I actually was in “real” labor again Sunday afternoon. Also, best part? My doctor, who I loved so much, left on Saturday for Taipei so he wasn’t going to be the one delivering me (and he’d been so sure I’d have the baby early because let’s just say things in the progress department indicated the kid was going to come out soon..clearly that meant nothing and she came on her due date). So I had strangers deliver me, but it was awesome. I was able to do it without any drugs, which was something I wanted so desperately. And, I’d do it that way again and again. So Molly arrived after about 12.5 hours of labor on a Monday morning. We went home Tuesday afternoon, and all was well.
Twelve days after delivery (and this is basically when shit hit the fan), I ended up in the ER hemorrhaging. FOUR pelvic exams later by 4 different doctors, only one of which had any idea what they hell they were doing apparently, I got to have a D&C to make it stop. Good times. And at that point, about 12 new people had seen my crotch. So this is where we stop counting on the running tally because it gets awkward. And, I’ll just let you venture to guess how good a pelvic exam feels 12 days after delivering an 8 lb baby. Hint: not good. Then multiply that by 4. Yeah.
The movers showed up and started packing out house 14 days after I had Molly. That was a great clusterfuck. And we got to sleep on the floor. But the packers weren’t done when the movers showed up. Also, fun update: Our bed is missing the feet and support beams for the center…so we had to rig it to even sleep on it and maybe the Navy will give us some money since they lost our stuff in the move? Oh and it’s all scratched and dented and we’re missing other furniture.
Molly had a lip tie, so we had to spend about 2.5 hours on the phone with Tricare trying to get coverage so we could get that fixed. At her two week appointment, she was still down 10 oz. so they wanted to weigh her again the next day. That afternoon, I took her to a dentist 1.5 hours away to laser her frenulum so she could feed more effectively. Picture this: your screaming two week old getting a needle shoved into her gum and then having her skin lasered while she screams and you hold her while smelling her burning flesh. Life gets a point, us: 0.
So I take Molly the next day to get weighed after my follow up appointment from my ER visit–which was all good (point for us). She’s still not gaining enough weight. So they decide I need to start supplementing with formula, which for anyone who knows me and my love of nutrition, you know this burns my soul. But first, she projectile vomits up what I fed her. So the lactation consultant who weighed her wants me to give her formula because she’s worried she has pyloric stenosis and formula makes them definitely vomit if they have it. Molly proceeds to vomit all of that up in the car on the way home–which the lactation consultant said warranted an ER visit if it happened again. So I took her to the ER. ER visit number two for us. Another point for life. So lots of familiar faces and “why are you back?” And then the admitting doctor–who was one of the doctors who checked Molly right after birth came and was like “I was looking at your chart. You guys have had one hell of a week.” Yes sir, we know. (He also commented right after labor “I had to do a double take because I didn’t think you could be the mother when I saw her birth weight.”) So they decided to admit her overnight for observation because her bilirubin levels were too high and with the weight gain issue they’d diagnosed her with Failure to Thrive (which basically made me feel like shitty parent of the year, even though it’s not my fault). Oh and let’s recall that this day is our second wedding anniversary (and we spent our first apart with Sully at sea…so third time’s the charm?)
So I spent the night in the hospital giving Molly pumped milk, because they wanted to be able to track her intake, and formula as needed. She gained 100+ grams in 24 hours, so we were finally able to go home the next night. Sully came back and forth multiple times as he was cleaning the house and packing our cars because we were going to start our move the next day. Needless to say, our move got pushed back a day.
The hospital room at least had a nice view of the inlet
We went to dinner the night she got discharged for a belated anniversary dinner and slept on the floor of our living room the last night in Washington.
Flat Iron Steak with Gorgonzola mascarpone & balsamic glaze
Now Molly can’t latch and will only eat from bottles, so I’m exclusively pumping which is something I really never saw coming. I’m dedicated to giving her the best nutrition for as long as I can, so I’ll be sticking with it for a year as long as my supply hold steady. But again, not super fun. Every time we stopped on our move, Sully fed Molly a bottle while I pumped.
Friday morning, we loaded up the cars and took Molly to another appointment at the hospital. She’d gained an additional 120 grams and her bilirubin levels were down 7 points, so we were cleared to start our move! We wanted to get going so Sully could stop burning his leave time.
We finally started our drive for the move after her appointment on Friday. Rookie mistake. Portland traffic was hell. We drove 23 miles in two hours. TWO HOURS. It took us 10 hours to do the drive that usually takes 6. Molly was awesome and only ate every two hours or so and slept a lot. We stayed the night at Sully’s dad’s house. Then, the next day took us another 9 hours, which also should have taken 6. But that day’s fun was courtesy of Molly. She wanted to eat every hour. She had a wet diaper all the time. She was cranky. She didn’t want to be in the car anymore. I didn’t want to be in the car. So when we finally got checked into the lodge in CA I was just happy to go in another room and not hear her cry for 10 minutes. So sue me. The hotel had roaches in the kitchen, so that was a great time obviously. Shall we give life another point?
Rest stop in Oregon with a dog run! Those granolas. Gotta love them.
House hunting was great fun because houses had 15 applicants after 2 days on the market. We finally settled on a house the guy Sully is replacing is renting out. We’re happy enough with it. We originally applied for another house, but the property manager kept changing the date we could see it–which was still 3 weeks away and nobody wants to live in a roach infested hotel that long. We moved into our house at the end of August, and we’re still trying to get settled in and figure out what’s missing from our move.
In other fun news, I’m still not cleared for exercise at 7 weeks postpartum, which is basically like the doctor telling me to be miserable. So I’m impatiently sitting around and resting (and being in a foul mood) to hopefully eventually be cleared before I lose my shit. I worked out until a few days before I delivered so the 6 week break felt really long to me. I go back in three weeks. Say it with me. Eight pound baby. Point for life. But, I’ve only got 3 lbs to lose, so could be worse. We won’t discuss the number of inches I gained (2″ pretty much everywhere). I ended up gaining 23 lbs total and was down to like 7 to go after the first week. And, I’ve got a diastasis, where your ab muscles are separated, so if they don’t go back together on their own, I can have surgery to tack it back together. Clearly pregnancy recovery is my thing? I’m allowed to walk though, so Molly, Walter and I have been out checking out our new neighborhood every morning before it gets too hot!
Sully didn’t have to go to work until the August 25th, so I basically had him home for the month before I had Molly and the first month of her life, which was super helpful. Point for us! And, we got Molly weighed around 3.5 weeks (after arguing with the hospital here to give us a damn appointment) and she was up 22 oz in 10 days, so she no longer has FTT. AND, I’m making enough milk that I no longer have to supplement with formula, which is basically the best thing ever. I’ve even got more than 100 oz in the freezer. Sully calls me milk maid now. I’ll take it. Another point for us!
So, needless to say, I’ve been a little absent lately. Throw in returning to classes, and I’m just a little busy. I’m hoping to be fully settled into the house in the next few weeks as my parents are coming to visit in early October. I also don’t know how much of Molly’s life or photos of Molly I’ll share on here. I just don’t love the idea of her being sprawled all over the internet, and I don’t think it’s fair to her to have her life chronicled online for everyone if she decides she doesn’t want that when she’s older. So for now there may be an occasional photo of her but this won’t turn into a mommy blog (despite my love of a good baby bump photo). Plus people are creepy and steal your baby photos.